1 week down, 57 to go.
This morning I woke up and decided to take a mental health day. Ok I admit I somehow must have hit the dismiss instead of snooze for my alarm and woke up a little too late. But I think taking a day to just chill is exactly what I needed.
One week ago this morning, I said goodbye to the hubbs as he left for TDY. Thankfully, it was 6 am and I was half asleep so it wasn’t that emotional. I think I remembered to mumble something poetic, like “stay safe”. As I felt the three tears, (yes only three!) on my face after he left the hotel room, I quickly rationed, “its 6 freakin am and you still need some sleep. get back to sleep.” Thankfully I found I Love Lucy playing on TV – hence my obsession with Hallmark channel lately – and fell back asleep.
It has been interesting how this first week of separation has gone. No major breakdowns yet! And I’m doing everything healthy to stay strong and positive. And I’m trying to laugh at myself and understand myself more as I transition into this temporary stage of life. Alright, not everything healthy as baby girl and I may or may not have just ate an entire third of an oreo package…
On the way home last week, baby girl and I stopped at Hobby Lobby. We walked past an older couple and the man was telling his wife, “No! No you may not buy that! You don’t need that, you have something JUST like that at home!” I swear I almost started bawling in the middle of the store because that’s exactly what the hubbs would say to me. Thankfully, I quickly turned down an aisle that was nothing but mirrors and I was forced to look at myself dead in the face. And then I look down at baby girl who LAUGHED at me. Haha, ahh its even theraputic just thinking back to that moment. :-)
Thankfully there are alot of resources for families in our situation. Basically a brief summary of everything says to give yourself time and just be honest with yourself. When girlfriends have asked how I’m doing, I take a moment to think and respond truthfully. If I’m feeling annoyed with this situation, I respond “ugh!”
I vow to not pretend to be tough! That’s too much trouble. But I also refuse to be a basket case.