space to think

the horror vacui

a mother & employed? Heck. Yes.

Pam from The Office has it totally right – “Maternity Leave?  It rocked.  It rocked my ass off.” 

ONE YEAR ago today I returned to work from maternity leave.  I cannot believe I have been back at the rat race for a year now.  Ironic as somedays, like today, the time just seems to crawl until I can race home to see my baby girl and the hubbs!  Thank goodness most of the time I really do enjoy my job. 

I’m so grateful that the one person who supports me the most working “outside the home” is the hubbs.  Over the past year he has walked me off the edge of the cliff more than once as I am freaking out and feeling guilty that the house is not perfectly in order or I didn’t have time to go grocery shopping OR the absolute heart attack – childcare arrangements falling through.  It’s so nice to have a spouse who is totally fine living in what I think is messy and unacceptable!  That’s just the Type A/Southern Belle in me ;-). 

For this next year, I am on a mission to find others who are in my situation.  I feel so alone.  My own mother who I adore dearly and respect even admitted she can’t really relate as she stayed home with her babies.  There have been many situations where I have had to hold my chin up – especially around conservative christians.  THAT is worse than all the planning to make things run smoothly for baby girl while I am gone during the day.  Last week I received the most comforting words so far: “It’s usually not ideal but it doesn’t mean its wrong.”  Bless that person!!

Cheers to employment!

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space to think

the horror vacui

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